


Lullaby

by GoneWithTheAshes



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Secret Santa Fic, Thvi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:48:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21853984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoneWithTheAshes/pseuds/GoneWithTheAshes
Summary: Virgil has some...let's say interesting things that help him sleep at night and Thomas finds out. Over the course of trying to help his friend (and crush) get some sleep he discovers more about his anxiety than just his favorite lullaby.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Thomas Sanders
Comments: 4
Kudos: 84
Collections: Sanders Sides Secret Santa 2019





	Lullaby

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to girl-with-cat-eyes on tumblr for betaing this for me and writing the summary! You are amazing!

Thomas knew he should be going to sleep. 

It was nearly one in the morning. He had a meeting tomorrow afternoon. He hasn’t gotten a full eight hours in several nights. So many reasons telling him he should be going to bed right now. And yet instead he was starting up his laptop, the screen illuminating his otherwise dark room.

In his defense he actually had been getting into bed to go to sleep. He fully intended to go to sleep. But then the sudden impulse to check out some conspiracy videos hit him like a full on train. He was tempted to call up Remus and blame him but the last time he called Remus at this time of night…...well let’s just say the trash goblin had clearly been in the middle of something and Thomas’ eyes would never feel clean again. Most sides would have just pushed back against the call and he would have gotten the message to leave them alone. But not Remus. 

Thus instead off calling on the semi-demented side he had opted to get out his laptop, telling himself he would only watch one and then go to bed. He pulled up youtube and was searching for a good one that he hadn’t already seen when the thought crossed his mind that Virgil would have some ideas. After all he had watched far more conspiracy than Thomas had, and had even said during their Q and A video that that is what he would do with a youtube channel of his own. Surely he would have some good suggestions. 

A smile formed on Thomas’ face at the thought of the anxious side. He glanced at the clock. Virgil typically wasn’t asleep at this time. He might as well ask for some advice. He’d go down personally instead of calling him though, on the off chance he was asleep. The host sunk down into his mindscape living room and started towards Virgil’s room. Since he would be asking Virgil about the videos anyway, he could also ask if Virgil wanted to watch with him. His smile grew at the thought of himself and Virgil, sitting close together on his bed, enjoying the video together. Strange how things change, a few scant years ago that situation would have been unthinkable to him. 

He stopped in front of the large oak door separating Virgil’s room from the hallway. He reached out and slowly turned the knob, it was thankfully unlocked. He peeked into the room, the light from Virgil’s lamp allowing him to see. It was a quirk he learned about a while back ago. Virgil couldn’t sleep without some light, odd for the man who claimed to hate sunlight with (ironically) the burning passion of one thousand suns. Virgil had explained it to him though. That he would panic if he woke up and couldn’t see. Thomas had felt a pang of sadness for his side at that, though right now it was working to his advantage. 

He felt a little disappointment at discovering that Virgil had actually gotten to sleep at a decent time tonight meaning they wouldn’t be able to watch videos together tonight. However the disappointment is far overshadowed by happiness that Virgil looked peaceful. It was a nice sight to see. He spent a few moments just taking it in which is when he noticed them. Virgil’s headphones, still on his head, but looking like they were about a hair away from falling off and breaking.

Thomas slunk over to Virgi’s side as quietly as possible and gently removed the headphones from his head. The soft tune he could hear as he did so sounded familiar. As he turned on the screen to Virgil’s phone so he could stop the music, the reason why became obvious. Virgil had his ‘I Won’t Say I’m In Love’ mash-up playing. He paused the song, noticing the screen said it was playing through a playlist labeled ‘Lullabies’. 

He touched the back arrow and scrolled through the playlist, quickly realizing that every song in it was sung by him, or at least he sung a large part of it. He smiled as the thought left a warm feeling in his chest. Virgil found his voice soothing enough to go to sleep to. 

His smile didn’t fade as he placed the phone on Virgil’s bedside table, careful not to make too much noise. He was turning to leave when he noticed Virgil fidgeting uncomfortably in his sleep. For a moment he worried he had woken the side, but Virgil was still asleep. Just more restless. Thomas thought for a moment before softly picking up where the song on Virgil’s phone had left off. 

After a minute of him singing Virgil seemed to calm again, Thomas had to control himself to keep singing without falter and not squeal at the sight. He sat down on a plush purple bean bag chair near Virgil’s bed. For an hour he stayed, flitting from song to song, until his voice and body got too tired. He let his last song fade out and waited a few minutes in silence, relieved when Virgil slept peacefully on. 

He got up and stretched, wincing when he heard a pop in his back, before slipping out of Virgil’s room. He cast one last smile at the sleeping side as he shut the door before making his way out of the mindscape. 

Back in his bedroom, he shut down his laptop, too tired now to watch a video as he’d been planning. His time had been well spent though, he thought to himself as his eyes closed. He fell asleep thinking about music and Virgil. 

Virgil woke up feeling well rested. He sat up in his bed, reaching a hand up to take off his headphones only to realize they were not on his head and the music he usually heard flowing through his ears was replaced by silence. He looked around, expecting they had fallen off of him only to find them clearly purposely placed on the nightstand. He frowned thoughtfully, he did not remember taking them off and putting them there. 

He shrugged it off after a moment, figuring he must have done it half-asleep and not remembered.

Thomas’ newfound knowledge of his side came into play again a mere week later. 

It was late at night once again and Thomas was still up, trying to finish the editing on his latest video. Virgil was sat beside him helping, using Joan's laptop. The dark circles under his eyes were clearly not just from eyeshadow anymore. Thomas had tried multiple times to get him to go to bed oh, but he refused to leave until Thomas was done.

He kept fighting his eyes which were determined to slip shut. Thomas sighed every time he looked over and pleaded with Virgil to go to bed again and again and let him finish the rest of the editing solo. But his anxious side was stubborn and willful. He was considering calling it a night himself just so Virgil would go to sleep, when he remembered what had happened a week before and an idea struck him.

He started softly singing a Disney song to himself, low enough to be calm and soothing but loud enough Virgil could certainly hear it. Virgil didn’t seem to think anything of it, though that was not so surprising. Randomly bursting into song was not that uncommon for Thomas. Not out of character at all. We certainly said something about him, he thought to himself as he looked over to see if his plan was working.

Sure enough, Virgil's eyes were slipping closed and he was no longer fighting it, his shoulders relaxing. By the time the song was over Virgil had dozed off, his slumping over onto Thomas’ shoulder. Thomas smiled a bit and kept singing, ensuring the side stayed asleep. 

Once he felt Virgil was deep enough into his slumber, Thomas scooped the hoodie clad man up into his arms and took him to bed. He gasped slightly when Virgil’s face nuzzled against his neck, his song skipping. Luckily the side did not awaken and he quickly got back on track. 

It wasn’t long before he was standing in Virgil room, slowly lowering the anxious side onto his bed and tucking him in. He stayed and sung a few more songs before whispering goodnight to Virgil and sneaking out of the room, back to the living room to finish his video.

Virgil woke up at half past noon, a sliver of sunlight streaming through his window in between his curtains. He couldn’t remember coming to bed. The last thing he remembered was Thomas singing ‘Once Upon a Dream’ and then….nothing. He groaned as he realized he must have fallen asleep to Thomas’ dulcet voice. And then Thomas had either banished him back to his room or had one of the others come get him. Meaning despite his best efforts he had left Thomas alone to finish editing. 

He flopped back onto his bed with a huff, frustrated with himself.

On it went, just like that, for quite some time. 

Thomas would notice Virgil getting overly tired and surreptitiously sing him to sleep. Then he would drop him off back in his bed. Sometimes, when he was feeling particularly risky or just entranced by the adorable sight of Virgil sleeping peacefully, he would press a light kiss to the side’s forehead before leaving him to his slumber. He had only gotten the confidence to do this a couple of times. 

This method was working perfectly though, until one night…

It had been a particularly tough week on both of them. Multiple deadlines. An event coming up. And a brief illness scare when Thomas had thrown up (luckily it had just been bad take out, he had called the restaurant and they were refunding him and offering him his next meal on the house). Needless to say a hard week on everyone but it hit Virgil particularly hard. 

The side was paler than normal, his eyeshadow applied thicker likely to conceal darker circles underneath. He was clearly exhausted. And the more exhausted he got the more on edge he got. It was grating on everybody but the worst part was the way Virgil looked ready to come out of his own skin. 

Thomas put his (now usual) plan into action when they were alone. Packing for the event. He sung softly as he folded clothes into his suitcase. Virgil who was on the bed, checking things off a list as they went, was fighting harder than usual against his tired eyes. He did eventually succumb though and Thomas scooped him up and carried him down to his bed. 

This was where a slight hiccup came into play. As Thomas tried to lay Virgil down onto his bed like always, the sleepy side clung to him tightly and would not let go. He tries to pry off Virgil’s arms but the other’s grip is strong and steadfast. He made one last attempt at getting Virgil to release him but instead the side whimpered sadly in his sleep. Thomas relented and laid down with him, maneuvering the covers up onto both of them.

Thomas felt content as he held his side close and continued his soft singing. Soon enough though, between the comfortable bed and the warm weight of Virgil on his chest, Thomas could feel his own eyes slipping shut. 

It wasn’t long before he too was slowly drifting off. 

Virgil woke up feeling well rested and comfortable...until his mind registered that there was someone in bed with him, holding him captive.

His mind immediately jumped to every worst case scenario possible. He was kidnapped. Trapped. Someone had trapped him to get to Thomas. He forced his mind to steady as he hesitantly peeked an eye open to asses the situation. 

He glanced at his captor and even in the dark he recognized that form. His host. Thomas. His mind simultaneously relaxed at the realization and began whirring even faster. What was going on? Why was his host here? In his bed? Holding him? Not that Virgil didn’t want Thomas there, this felt like a dream come true, he was just so confused. Thomas was cuddling him and…...singing? Yes that was definitely it. He was fading in and out a bit as he seemed to be drifting off, but his low melodic tone still floated through the air, trying to lull Virgil back to sleep.

He pinched himself just to make sure this wasn’t a dream but no, that hurt and this is real. He tried to sit up, needing to get out of Thomas’ arms so he could think straight (ha). However as he tried to pull himself away, Thomas noticed he was awake and pulled him back. 

“Hey Gorgeous, what are you doing up so soon?” Thomas asked with a slight yawn punctuating the question. Virgil instantly felt a blush come to his cheeks because what did Thomas just call him? He tries to sit up again but is once more pulled back to Thomas’ chest. “Nooooo. You go back to sleep sweetheart. You need your rest.” This declaration was again colored by slight yawning and it was far more cute than it had any right to be in Virgil’s opinion.

Virgil opened his mouth to insist he is fine and there was no way he could possibly get back to sleep now when Thomas started singing softly to him and the words refused to come to Virgil’s lips. To add to his predicament one of Thomas’ hands came up to play with his hair and the other rubbed shapes into Virgil’s back. 

He tried to keep himself awake. Tried to focus his mind on figuring out what was happening here or rather why. But Thomas’ melodious voice and gentle ministrations worked against him. His body wanted nothing more than to melt into his house and go back to resting. Dreaming of those hands being on him in a different way- and ok he needed to stop thinking about that right now before he had another...hard...situation to deal with. In attempting to clear his mind of those thoughts though he opened it up completely to the warm feelings his hosts touch and voice was creating. No longer fighting against it.

Despite his unsaid protest, Virgil was soon sleeping soundly once more with Thomas following suit shortly after.

In the morning Thomas woke up feeling more relaxed than he had in quite some time. For all of five seconds. Before he remembered.

He’s flushed deep red as he recalled how he spent a good half an hour holding a very awake and aware Virgil. And playing with his hair. And rubbing his back. And calling him pet names. And oh god he was so ready for a hole to appear in the mindscape and just swallow him now.

Thomas has never had much of a filter when he is tired. Even worse when he is already half asleep like he was last night. He can’t hold anything back. His thoughts just pass straight through his lips with no consideration. And he just has to deal with the consequences. Like right now.

Except he really didn’t want to so he tried to sneak away. Maybe Virgil would let him pretend it never happened, he thought hopefully to himself. His hope was dashed as he went to pull out of their embrace and this time it was him who was pulled back. “Five more minutes.” He heard a muffled mutter from the side in his arms. 

Thomas wished some of the confidence of his unfiltered sleepy self would come back to him as he went to speak to the apparently awake man beside him. “H-hey Verge, fancy meeting you here?” Virgil’s eyes popped open and gave him the most amused but deadpan look he had ever seen in his life. “Yes. Fancy encountering me. In my room. In my bed.”

The redness coloring Thomas’ face seemed to grow brighter at the wry sarcasm. Instead of trying to come up with a witty response he just blurted out the truth. Explained how he figured out his singing could sooth Virgil to sleep. How he has been using this knowledge to get Virgil to sleep when he could tell the man really needed it. How he’d been dropping him off in his bed when he did so. And how last night Virgil had refused to let go of him when he tried to tuck him in. So he had stayed rather than wake him up.

Virgil smiled a bit. Thomas was so sweet. He hesitated for a moment, not sure if he should push, but couldn’t help asking. “Okay. That’s really nice of you. But….what about the other stuff?” Thomas fidgeted nervously, hoping Virgil wasn’t going to ask what he was surely asking. Virgil flushed a pretty shade of pink, nowhere near Thomas’ red but still noticeable, as he answered. 

“You called me gorgeous.” Silence reigned for a minute after Virgil spoke. He was asking what Thomas had desperately hoped he wouldn’t yet knew deep down he would. Thomas intended to play it off. Except his mouth decided last second to revert to sleep driven, unfiltered form and spoke for him without his consent. “You are gorgeous.”

Virgil’s pink darkened into red, still not matching the host but coming closer. The anxious trait fought a smile. Thomas noticed and felt a grin of his own begin to spread on his face. Seeing Virgil’s reaction spurs him to go on. 

“And you are a sweetheart.”

“I am not!”

“You are too.”

And with that the floodgates opened and Thomas proceded to validate every single pet name he had called Virgil. And a few he hadn’t. When he was finally finished Virgil matched him easily in terms of redness, if not beat him out. He is smiling with clear joy though. “Sorry, I am just telling the truth.” Thomas’ voice did not sound sorry at all.

Virgil chuckled at the ‘apology’ and decided he could ‘forgive’ Thomas. “It’s alright. It’s nice getting so many compliments from my crush-host! I meant host.” Virgil was near shouting at the end, cursing himself for getting too relaxed. Too flattered. Slipping so easily.

Thomas stared in shock for a moment as his brain processed what his ears had heard. “What was that?” Virgil tensed more at Thomas’ question and rushed to ramble out a response. “Nothing! It was nothing. I was just saying it was really nice of you to give me so many compliments and thank you and that’s it-”

“You called me your crush.”

“.........No I didn’t.”

Virgil nearly groaned at how weak that sounded. He turned to bury his face in his pillow, somehow forgetting he was literally laying on top of Thomas, resulting in him instead burying his face into Thomas’ neck. Not helping his situation at all. The host on the other hand was rather amused by this, silently laughing just a little. 

His amusement quickly faded when he realized Virgil was actually shaking against him with nerves. He leaned his head down and kissed the soft brown hair under his chin. Virgil’s shaking did not seem to calm much if at all, so Thomas pushed the side up off of him so Virgil would be looking at him. The side flinched slightly, clearly thinking he was being pushed away. Thomas swiftly wrapped his arms around Virgil and rubbed small circles into the side’s sides with his fingertips as he hugged him tight.

“Calm down Verge.” He encouraged. “Breathe with me.” Thomas breathed in and out slowly, purposely, coaxing Virgil to match him. Virgil did manage to match him after a minute or two, and his shaking stopped. The tension was still tangible in every muscle though. 

“I...um...I didn’t...say I had a crush on you...so you don’t have to worry about that…” He tried back tracking once more. Thomas played along with him. “I believe you.” Tension left Virgil and he gave an audible sigh of relief before Thomas started speaking again. “You know though, it’s too bad. I was really hoping you were saying you had a crush on me.”

Virgil tilted his head and looked at Thomas with wide eyes. “What?” 

“Yeah, I mean, I really like you. You’re gorgeous. You’re smart. You’re funny. You’re caring. You make me feel so safe. What’s not to like? I was hoping maybe you liked me too, but I guess not.” Virgil was speechless. His mouth opened and shut several times but no sound came out. “I should have known someone as wonderful as you wouldn’t be interested in me-”

Virgil’s voice rushed back to him at that and he interrupted his host with fervor. “I am! I definitely am interested in you." Thomas raised an eyebrow at the adamant words. “Really? I thought you said you didn’t have a crush on me?” The host prompted. “I lied.” Virgil admitted sheepishly. “Really?” Virgil nodded enthusiastically in response to the query. 

“Prove it.”

“Okay, well the sound of your voice makes me feel secure, that's why I like listening to you sing when I'm having trouble sleeping.”

“I think you have the most incredible expressive eyes, and when they light up it makes my heart flutter.”

Thomas stared at the side as he spoke. He was hoping Virgil would choose to prove it by kissing him but this....was this really the kind of thing Virgil thought about when it came to him? This was so incredibly sweet. He felt his smile start growing in time to Virgil’s words. 

"Also I love it when you laugh and it always make me want to smile, which really ruins my aesthetic."

"When you care about someone you will literally go to the ends of the Earth for them and you care about me and I just find that so amazing."

"The first time you ever smiled at me directly I literally melted. Like I legit collapsed on my bed when I sunk out and screamed because it was so beautiful and it was meant just for me." 

Virgil paused for a second to take in Thomas’ reaction and was happy to see said smile being directed at him right now. His heart fluttered happily. He kept going. Naming anything and everything he could think of. Until Thomas was once again winning the redness contest between the two of them. 

Eventually he runs out of things to say. He could probably think of more but his throat was starting to hurt and he was eager to hear Thomas respond. "There. Was that good? Did I prove it?" Thomas pretended to think about it for a second but his smile gave the game away. "I'd say so yes. Thank you for all the compliments. But you do know I just wanted you to kiss me right?"

Virgil just stares at him for a second before stuttering out. ".....Oh. Sorry. I just...I thought...I mean I didn't...." Thomas decides to put him out of his misery. "Shhhh come here Sweetheart." He beckons, sitting up and pulling Virgil onto his lap. They both lean in for the kiss. 

Their lips meet and it is like fire and ice all at once. Fierce but soothing. Electric but calm. Moving but steady. A complete contradiction. Neither of them cared too much about the semantics though. All they cared about was the touch of their lips and that they could do this again. Many, many times. 

They looked into each other’s eyes as they pulled back. Both sets of slightly swollen lips smiling widely. “Thomas..” Virgil started but trailed off. “Hmm?” The host asked back, eyebrows raised questioningly. “Thanks for helping me sleep.” There was clearly more implied behind the statement. Thomas just smiled wider and leaned in for a brief but sweet second kiss. 

“Anytime Gorgeous.”

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all (especially my lovely giftee)!!!


End file.
